Eustace Was Studying
by SusanTheGentleHornblower
Summary: Eustace is trying to study, but a certain someone keeps distracting him. Set post-Silver Chair, prior to Last Battle. A one-shot. JillxEustace


Eustace was studying. Honestly, he was. Sitting there in that little secluded spot in the library, with his history book open, he was honestly studying. He could rattle off the names of the generals in the war he was reading about, and all of the dates that the teachers told him were important to remember. He could tell you who all the prime ministers who's names started with the letter 'r' were, and all of the queens of England in alphabetical order. He was one of the top students in his class, and he had worked hard to get there. Studying was crucial, especially when they had a test tomorrow. Sitting there on the bench with his long legs stretched out in front of him, he had himself convinced that he was studying.

Jill was not studying. She was keeping Eustace company. Jill was a smart girl and did well in school, but she never devoted excess amounts of time to studying. She was able to get good grades and was happy with her position. The book she was ready had nothing to do with history. It was filled with sappy romance, and Eustace teased her frequently about her choice of literature. She paid him no heed, however, and quietly enjoyed her book. She sighed softly and moved a little. Eustace swallowed hard. She kept brushing up against the bare skin on his arm when she did that, and it did something to him inside.

Jill had unknowingly tortured him like this before. The little things she did, the way she would say certain phrases, when she looked at him just so… it was all killing him. He had never felt like this before, and didn't know how to act on these feelings. Ever since they'd gone to Narnia, she'd grown up so much. She was definitely no longer the crybaby who had blubbered every time somebody said 'boo' to her. Her confidence in herself had grown leaps and bounds. Eustace was quite fond of her as a friend. In fact, he would go so far as to say she was his best friend. But now things were different for him. He was afraid to say anything, out of fear of putting their friendship in an awkward position. Today was worse than the other times, for some reason. She moved again, and he sucked in his breathe softly but sharply.

"Pole, _must_ you move so much?" trying very hard to sound annoyed with her.

"Sorry," she said, but she moved again and smirked. Obviously this was a joke to her. He rolled his eyes and turned away so that she wouldn't see his face. "Oh, what? Can't take it, Scrubb? Does it deter your attention from your studies?" she teased. He still wasn't looking at her. He wouldn't let her see him like this. She leaned into him and bumped his ribs, trying to get his attention. "Scrubb? You aren't really mad at me, are you? Because if you are, you're being absolutely horrid. I've been reading just like this the entire term while I've sat by you and it's rather beastly of you to be bothered by it all of a sudden now," she said very firmly. He still wouldn't look at her. "Scrubb?" She leaned forward to get a better look at his face. Although Jill could not see it entirely, she could see what was written all over his face: pain. "Scrubb, whatever's the matter?" Jill asked, really quite worried now. She laid a hand gently on his arm in her innocence tenderness towards him. He sucked in his breath sharply and flinched.

"Pole, you're _killing_ me," he whispered. Jill stared hard at him, with her mouth slightly open, before it hit her. She pulled her hand away as if she'd touched a hot stove. Swallowing hard, she began a long-winded apology.

"Oh, Scrubb, I didn't _know_! How was I supposed to know? I'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me? I wouldn't have done it if… if…" she trailed off. Eustace still refused to look at her. "Does it really bother you so?"

"I wouldn't use the word bother. More like…" he searched for the right word. A trickle of sweat rolled down his cheek and onto his upper lip, where it stayed. Jill had the sudden impulse to wipe it away, but she didn't dare. "More like… distracts. It's a large… distraction," he finally choked out. Now all the words rushed out of him. "It's not your fault; I just didn't know how to tell you. It was very awkward, and I tried a couple of different times, but it just never happened. You're the only one…" here he trailed off.

"Who does this to you?" she whispered. He nodded. Jill had never, _ever_ seen him like this. Not even when they were being chased by giants across Harfang. She didn't quite know what to do about it, and it made her feel tremendously shy around him. Her hands played with the edge of her skirt, and her light brown bangs hung down over her grey-green eyes to try to hide herself from him.

Eustace felt downright awful. He had gone and ruined everything between them now. Why couldn't he keep his _head_ about things like this? He finally turned to look at her, but that was a mistake. Her downcast face with all of its guilt made him feel sick. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her that it wasn't her fault; it was his fault for being so horrid about it. Then she hiccupped, and he could see that she was holding back tears, and that's when it did him in.

"Pole, don't cry!" he pleaded with her, turning now to face her fully. He bent down and put his arm around her shoulders. Her warm body sent who knows what shivering up and down him, but he ignored it as best he could for the moment. "M'sorry. It's all my fault; really it is. Please don't cry. I just couldn't tell you, you see. I thought you might… laugh at me," he confessed, extremely embarrassed. Jill turned her face up to his, which was very close now. Her face had been all scrunched up before, but now it smoothed out in surprise.

"Why would I laugh at you?"

"I thought you'd think… I dunno…" he answered sheepishly, a flush creeping up his neck.

"Do you know what I would have said if you had told me straight out?" she asked pointedly. He was wary about her answer.

"What?"

"I would have told you that I felt the same way." His mouth dropped open a little. That had been the last thing he had been expecting.

"But… how… you never… acted like it!" he insisted.

"Girls are sometimes able to hide it much better than boys." She looked down again. "_I_ was afraid you would brush me off as a silly girl, or something." Her voice had dropped to a whisper. "You do that sometimes, you know." If he hadn't known better, he would have sworn that she had stabbed him with a knife and then twisted it inside his chest.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant it to be like that. I think you're…" he swallowed hard before going on, "first-rate. You're the best girl I've ever known, aside from maybe my cousin Lucy." Eustace prayed that he didn't sound foolish. He certainly felt it. His arm was still around her shoulders, and his hand had absent-mindedly been playing with her hair. "I like you an awful lot."

"You really mean that?" she asked with quiet hopefulness. He nodded with a smile. "Thanks, Eustace."

"It's nothing, Jill," he returned, mumbling his sentence together quickly and glancing back down at his book. He picked it up with his free hand and pretended to be cross with her. "I really should get back to studying," he commented solemnly as he opened the book and began reading again. He did not, however, remove his arm from around Jill's shoulders, which made her smile happily as she nestled into him with her novel. Eustace didn't notice much of what he read after that. So much for studying.


End file.
